Short Scary Stories Volume 11: Bag of Treats
Funny Tricks I was recently transferred to a new school, due to us moving to a new town. All the kids here a freaks. One kid in particular can do funny tricks with his face. It's really disturbing. He grabs the bottom of his eyelids, and stretches them as far down as possible. It's disgusting. He can also do some really weird things with his mouth. In fact, there he is right now. "Hey Noah." I sighed. "Wanna see a funny trick? I've been working on it all week." Noah asked, wearing his soft gray jacket. "Noah, I'm eating." I said. "Oh come on, you'll love it!" he tried to convince me. "No." I simply said. "Just watch." he demanded. I rolled my eyes. He put both oh his on his lips. One on the upper, one on the lower. He than began to pull on them, revealing the grotesque meat under them. I gagged. "Please go away." I demanded. "Wait wait, I can go even further." said Noah. "I'm going to tell." I warned. "Okay okay, just watch this last one." Noah demanded. He put both hands on his upper and lower lips, digging into his skin. He then pulled hard and fast. It made the most gory sound you could imagine. "Huh, huh?" Noah showed off. He... he pulled his face right off. It was dangling behind his head, like a hoodie. His skull starred into mine. "Pretty cool, huh?" he showed off again. I screamed. "Shh... be quiet. I can fix it." he said. He grabbed his face from behind, and tried to pull it back over his head. He groaned trying to get it back on his face. "Uh, I need a little help here." he said. All the kids looked at him. They all scream. A teacher barged into the cafeteria. They looked at his skinless face, and screamed. Me, the teacher, and all the kids in the cafeteria ran out, leaving Noah all alone. "Guys, come back! That wasn't even the best trick I had!" Cops: Clown Edition ♪Bad boys, bad boys. What'cha gonna do? What'cha gonna do when they come for you?♪ "On this episode of Cops, Deputy Dan will be tracking down a group of thugs dressed as clowns who stole kids' candy on Halloween night. He is on the scene interviewing eye witnesses." Ethan, father of victim who had his candy stolen. "Yeah, I was sittin' on my front porch smokin' a cigarette. My son was comin' up on the porch. He was so happy 'bout all the candy he got. Then, a group of ass-clowns pushed him down, and took his bag of candy. I tried to chase 'em down, but they hopped in the back of a polka-dotted van." Law enforcement has been tracking down a number of Facebook profiles. One of them being title "Clowns Want Candy". The profile stated that on Halloween, clowns were going to steal as much candy from children as possible. Back to Deputy Dan. We're outside of a local Dunkin' Donuts right now. The manager says they had a run in with one of the clowns. Let's go in. "It was around 8PM on Halloween. Some fat clown drunk off his ass came to the counter and demanded some candy. I told him that we didn't have any candy, only donuts. I also told him get the hell out of the store. He got pissed, grabbed the donuts behind the counter, and started chucking them at costumers. He was acting like damn ape! I got out a broom, and shooed him out the store. He then hopped in the back of a polka-dotted van. He also yelled something about the sewers." The sewers! That's it. Me and the crew and headed to the local the sewers hole entrance. "I'm going in boys." I said to the officers behind me. A single camera man followed me in. With my flashlight in hand, scanned the environment. I noticed something on the ground. "Ah, a Milkyway wrapper. They're near." The water got about knee deep the further I went. "Come out, assholes!" I called. Then, something grabbed both of my feet from below the water. I looked down, and saw two clown hands. I was dragged down into the water. The camera man didn't help, because it is in their contract to not help someone out in a tragedy. They must film it. Anyway, I wrestled with the clown in the diarrhea filled waters. The clown got a hold of my glock. They got off of me, and jumped out the dump water. And so did I. The clown stood at the other side of the sewer, pointing the gun at me. He pulled the trigger. But it wasn't loaded. "Doh!" he yelled. I hopped to the other side, grabbed him by the balls, and pulled down. "YAAAAAAHHHH!" the clown screamed. He was arrested. We went further in the sewers, and found a bunch of ass-clowns huddled up next to each other in a dead end. Candy was everywhere. I called the boys, and they went in and arrested them. We had every clown deliver bags of candy to the victims. "We're homeless and hungry. We just wanted something to eat!" one of the dirty clowns said. "You'll have plenty to eat in prison." I assured. Confronting the Alien Hello, my name is Mike Hawk. We're outside of an abandoned alien base the US government used to hoard dead alien bodies from the Roswell UFO crash of 1947, before moving them to Area 51, and soon the White House. There's been reports of the gray aliens lurking outside this facility as of late. We're gonna head in, and hope we can get these outer-worldly beings on video. Rich, you got the camera rolling, right? "Yeah." Well come on, let's head in! Whoa, what was that?! Did you hear that? "I think." Sounded like it came from this room. Folks, this room was the old computer lab the government used to store all the information they had of these beings. But when the Russians found out of this particular base, so they had to relocate up to Nevada. BANG! Oh sh*t! I saw it! I saw it! it moved to other room. "What really? What did it look like?" It had a dark cloak, and was wearing tennis shoes! Let's follow it! Go go go go! jogs quickly to the alien THERE IT IS! IT'S GETTING AWAY IT'S GETTING AWAY! more running Aha! You're trapped now, buddy! This room has only one way in, and no ways out! alien huddles into corner "Mike, I don't think that's an alien." Oh screw off, yes it is! Now, tell us all your secrets! Admit that the US government is developing time travel at Area 51 to destroy America! alien shakes head YOU'RE LYING DAMMIT! WHY DO YOU WANT TO TEAM UP WITH THE MOST CORRUPT PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD! IT MAKES NO DAMN SINCE! AAG! "Mike, calm down." SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M GONNA TAKE DOWN THIS TRAITOR BASTARD! mike tackles alien DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL! guy takes off alien mask Oh what the hell! "Mike, I told you. It's just a prankster." No it isn't! It's disguising itself as a human to fool me! But I'm telling you what, you'll never fool me, you extra-terrestrial bastard! Stop allying with the US government and go back to damn outer space where you belong! "Is this guy crazy?" "Yep." Mike Hawk Arrested For Assaulting Prankster -- Says Law Enforcement is Under Alien Mind Control Revenge of the Haunted Computer Last year, a house in the woods exploded. No one knows how. But, in the house were dozens of dead bodies with this strange mark on their neck. It's one of the biggest mysterious of our time. And today, I bought the computer that was in the house from an auction. It is completely destroyed, so I'm going to try and fix it (I'm a computer repairer). I added a new monitor frame, new screen, and new operating system to it. I spent an entire month trying to repair it. Ironically, I finished it today, on Halloween -- also the same day when that strange event happened. Now, for the moment of truth. Time to power it on. I hit the power button. The screen immediately went haywire. "T̷̢H̀͞E̶̶ ̶͏̡M̨̕A͡͏͟R̵̨Ḱ̢̕͡͝Ȩ́D̡̀̕͟͠ ̢̡̢Ò̴͘͞͝Ǹ̢̀͟͠E̢̛S̶ ̵̴̵̸͠W̵̧̕͝͏I̴̢͠L̨̀͜͢͟L̷̕̕ ̸͞R̡͏E̴͢Ţ̴̕U̶̶̢͘R̷͠͞N̸̵̛" it said on the screen. It's haunted, I must destroy it! I grabbed a.... a... I don't have anything to destroy it with! The computer used a magnetic force to bring a bunch of wires to it. This thing now has tentacles! It whipped me with one of its wires on the neck. There was a strange mark on my neck now. I felt my mind morph, and my body grew stronger. I'M HUNGRY, AND I WANT TO SAVOR THIS THING! I charged for the computer. However, it wrapped its wires around my feet, and held me up in the air. It then threw me out the window. I came crashing on to the hard road ground. Someone walked by. "Hey man, you need some help up? Here," the man reached their hand out to lift me up. That's when I bit their hand. Hard. I ripped one of his fingers off, and began to chew on it. The man screamed, and grew that mark on his neck. I looked up, and saw computer's wires on the telephone polls. The wires were bouncing up and down. Then, electricity shot out of the polls, directly attacking everyone. About 20 people were hit by the lightning. They then got up from the ground. They had the marks on their necks too. They all pointed to the building the haunted computer was in. The people ran to the building, and began to climb it. They jumped through the windows. They were now face-to-face with the haunted computer. They charged at it, chewing on the wires, and ripping the frame off. "Nooo! My creation!" I screamed. I attacked the people with my computer tools. "Stay away from my product! I won it! I repaired it! IT'S MINE!" I stabbed one guy in the ear with a screwdriver. When that happened, they all jumped on me at once. They began to claw my flesh with their fingernails... "Let's give the computer more RAM!" they shouted. They then decided to pick me up, and ram my head into the haunted computer screen. The computer blew up, and so did the building. Fire fighters came to the scene to put out the fire. The only thing left inside the building were burnt skeletons and a broken computer. The fire fighters disposed of the haunted computer. It now resides in a junkyard... waiting to claim its next unlucky victim. Papa's Pizza: The Final Special? I'm a private investigator. I'm investigating a case that involves a cannibalistic restaurant. Every time the FBI gets a report about the restaurant, it disappears, and mysteriously moves to disclosed location. But not this time. I know where it's at. It's on 5fth street next to the old bar. In fact, I'm parked outside of it right now. I'm going in. The sign above is a back-lit white board with black text that reads "PAPA'S PIZZA :)". I opened the door. Inside was a dimly lit brown restaurant, as expected. There were no people inside either. Hmm. I went up to the counter where the cash register was. I rang the bell. The cashier walked out of a room and approached the counter. "Welcome to Papa's Pizza, would you like to try out our Halloween special?" the cashier asked. "Yes. With extra sauce please." I demanded. "Sure thing!" they said. "You can wait over--" I interrupted them when I pulled out a gun. They raised their hands in the air. "Show me how you make it." I demanded, gun in hand. "S-sir, i-it is against Papa's policy to--" "SHOW ME! NOW!" I shouted. They lead me to the kitchen, where they prepared the pizza. "So, what makes the special, special?" I asked, pointing the gun to their head. Sweat was pouring from their face, and they were shaking. That's when I raised their shirt up from behind. Their back had ripped out skin and rotting flesh. "That's the special!!" they cried. I didn't know what to do. Out of impulse, I slammed their face on the stove, burning their face. They then ran out of the store. I'm going to kill the boss. I explored all the rooms, except for one. It was clearly the boss' room. I tried the doorknob. Wouldn't open. So I kicked it in. There, I saw some fat, disgusting creature (aka a human dressed in a stripped polo and kankies) eating a human pizza. The tag on their shirt read "BOSS". "Want a bite?" he asked while chowing down on the pizza. I pulled the trigger, shooting it in the head. Blood and brain guts splattered all over the wall. I picked up the half-bitten pizza. I studded it. So, this is the special, huh? Time to make it even more special. I dipped the slice of human flesh pizza in the boss' blood. I took a bite. "Mmm, delicious!" I then picked pieces of the guy's brain, and added them like toppings. I moaned at how delicious it was. I think I'll take over the business now. Decoration Police: Bob's Revenge Halloween is now over, but I don't want to take down the decorations! They look so totally cool and spooky! You know what? I'll just leave them up! There's no harm in i, right? Wrong, wrong, WRONG! Don't do what I did. JUST DON'T. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. If you do do thi--ACTUALLY DON'T. Like I said, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING IT! Anyway, I'll tell you how this all went HORRIBLY wrong... It was November 1st. "Another day another dollar!" I exclaimed as I walked outside at 6AM to grab the newspaper from my front lawn. As I walked back to my house, I noticed that my neighbor was sitting on their porch. "Howdy ho' neighbor!" I greeted. They shook their head with a vile look on their face. They then got up and went back into their house. Um, okay. What the heck did I ever do to them? Old people are the worst, I swear. Anyway, I kicked my legs up and laid on the couch. I took a sip of my coffee, and opened the newspaper. The main headline read "HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS AFTER HALLOWEEN NOW ILLEGAL IN ILLINOIS!" Hey, I live in Illinois! Well, time to move out. I jogged upstairs and headed to my room, ready to pack my bags. Until I heard a knock on the door. I went to go answer it. It was a police officer, wearing shady glasses, and their skin as white as butter. "Can I help you sir in blue?" I questioned. "Yeah, we just got a complaint from your neighbor Bob. You need to take down these Halloween decorations now." the officer demanded. "I can't, I'm actually in the process of moving ou--" "GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND!" the officer yelled. He pinned me to the ground, and hand-cuffed me. He threw me in the back of the police car. "No good law breaker!" the officer scuffed. I then heard a large noise. There was a crane with a ball in chain next to my house! I watched as the crane and ball destroyed the front of my house, destroying the decorations in the process. "NOOOOO!" I screamed. "Don't worry buddy. You'll have a nice, warm and fuzzy silver and metal 'house' in the county jail. It's the same as your house, except in this one you can't break the law and disobey an officer!" the cop assured to me. "Curse yoooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu, Bob!" I shouted in the police car as he drove me off to the county jail. Bob smiled, taking a sip of his coffee while sitting in a chair on his porch in a robe. Don't mess with Bob. He knows things, and will destroy your life. Thanksgiving Payback It's Thanksgiving, the day to give thanks and eat turkey. My family lives out of state, so I can't have Thanksgiving with them. I could just fly out there, but I'm broke. So to celebrate Thanksgiving, I'll be going to the local bar downtown, drinking myself away. There's an alleyway in between the bar and another building. I looked down it, and saw three hobos laying next to a dumpster. Poor guys. They can't give thanks with their family, and worst of all, dumpster turkey! Oh well. I walked in the bar. There was a big white table on the other side of the room. On the table was freshly cooked turkey. Nice! I walked up to it, ready to take a slice. But then I remembered the hobos outside. Hmm... I think I'll give them a few slices. I went back outside, and went to the alleyway. "Hey guys. I feel bad for y'all, so here, take this turkey." I handed them each three slices of turkey meat. They nodded, and began to chew on it. "Wow, they're not even going to thank me?" I thought. What a bunch of ungrateful bums. "You're welcome." I said as I walked off. How rude of them. But hey, I fed the homeless, so I guess that's something. As I walked out of the alleyway, I pumped into a garbage man carrying a full trash bag. "Oh, I'm sorry." I apologized. "It's no problem." he said. He walked to the alley, raised the dumpster lid up, tossed in the heavy trash bag, and then walked away. The hobos threw down their turkey, and dragged the bag out of the dumpster. "What the?" I thought to myself. Why would they thrown down perfectly good turkey for dumpster food? They tore the bag to shreds like a bunch of wild savages. They pulled something out of the bag. It was a severed human foot. The hobos fought for the foot, taking bites out of it. "Help! They're eating a dead corpse!" I yelled to whoever. A man heard my cry, and ran towards me. "What's the mat--" the man stopped talking. Oh no. It's my worst bully from high school, Clerk! "Hey! I remember you! You're the punk who embarrassed me in front of my cool friends on graduation day! I'll forget that day, and you must pay for it!" he blabbered. "Screw you, dude! You can't do anyth-HIIIIIIING!!" I yelled as he picked me up, and threw me at the cannibal hobos. "Hew! Fresh meat!" one of the hobos said. "Thankful for fresh meat!" another one said. "Now that's the spirit." Clerk snark'd, as I got eaten alive by homeless cannibals. No Country for Apemen I'm a scientist. I love combining DNAs with each other. The end results never ceases to amaze. Last night, I made a horrible mistake. I was a little tipsy, and I pricked a random DNA strain from my collection, and ejected it into my blood stream. I don't know why I did it. Anyway, I woke early this morning to an itchy beard. I thought I shaved it off last week? I looked in the mirror, and saw my face, arms, legs, and everywhere else had been completely covered in dark hair. I'm an apeman now! I gotta undo this now... Until I heard a knock at the door. I looked through the peep hole and saw that it was my girlfriend. Oh no. "Uh, today's not a good day." I said from behind the door. "Why not?" she asked. I panicked. "I-I'm just not feeling good, come by some other time." I nervously said. "Are you okay? Let me in!" she demanded. My mind racing and not knowing what to do, I bolted to my lab. The ape DNA has also made me faster, so I made it my lab within seconds (it's in the basement). I scrambled through the drawers, looking for my DNA repeller. Then, I heard a noise from behind me. It was my girlfriend, looking through the basement window, screaming. She then ran off. Ugh, why does this have to happen to me! I need to find the repller, now! I might have misplaced it when I was drunk... After 30 minutes of scrambling, I still couldn't find it. I was panicking hard. Sweat poured down my hairy face. It felt like it was 100 degrees in the room. So I ripped my shirt off like it was nothing. These ape powers have made me into a hulking beast, capable of destroying anything and everything. I then heard some noises outside the basement window. I looked, and saw cop cars pull home to my house. Oh no! I ran up the stairs, and barged outside. "I need help! Please spare me! This is all a misunderstanding!" I wept as the police officers stood outside of their vehicles pointing their fire arms at me. A carriage with donkeys then pulled up the cop cars. A man in a red suit wearing a top hop and curly mustache stepped out of the carriage. "Well well well, so this is the apeman I heard about at the police station?" The red man scuffed. He then pointed at me. "You, are going to be apart of my new circus act! The Incredible Apeman!" He announced. "Nooooo!" I shouted in a deep voice. "Get 'em boys!" the circus man ordered the cops. They approached me with weapons still in hand. I let out a roar, and made a mad dash for the woods. "Get that apeman!!" The circus man yelled. I ran as fast as I could, dodging silver bullets. I hid behind one of police cars. "Get out with your hands up!!" the cops demanded. They ran towards the cop car. When they got really close, I lifted the car up with my bare hands, and pushed it on top of the cops. I let out another roar. "Oh dear." the circus man said nervously. He quickly got in his carriage. "Not this time!" I shouted. I pulled him out of the carriage. I grabbed handcuffs from a passed-out police officer, and hand-cuffed the man. I then shoved him in a cop car. I roared once more. I feel good. I think I could get used to my new ape self. I walked to the carriage, and freed the donkeys. I hopped on a donkey, and we zoomed through the forest. Cool, I didn't know bananas grew on the trees out here! I'm going to live out here in the country as an apeman, and also as a donkey rider. You can call me Donkey Kong. Giant Mutant Wrestling Society My small town has a local wrestling scene, and I try to support by going to all the fights. The fight for this night, however, was at a later time than usual. It starts at 11PM instead of 10PM. Not sure why, but whatever. The building where the events are hosted is only a few blocks away, so I usually just ride my bike over there. Unfortunately, my bike got stolen lat night. So I'm gonna have to walk there, which makes me nervous, because I don't like walking alone at night. The neighborhood doesn't have the best reputation either. I was walking by the small park, which means the wrestling building is near. As I walked by, I heard rustling in the bushes. Must be a raccoon. I then heard footsteps approaching me. I turned around and saw a mysterious hooded figure in a black robe... running towards me! I screamed, and tried to dash out of there as fast as I could. But it was already to late. The figure put a cloth over my face, and that's all I remembered... Later, I woke up tied to a chair with duct tape over my mouth. I was surrounded by black hooded figures. I heard one of them hiss like a snake. What is going on?? Are they the ones that stole my bike? Is this all just a prank? Then, the lights came on. I was in the middle of a wrestling ring. The hooded figures backed away to make room for a much larger hooded figure. This thing was huge. It ripped its rob off, revealing its horrible self. I nearly burst into tears. "Lose and become a mutant, win and bet set free." I heard a mysterious voice say. They untied me and ripped the duct tape off my mouth. I was now face-to-face with a giant hulking mutant with a messed up face. He had to be at least 8 feet tall! "Fight!" the figures chanted. The mutant growled. Then all the figures shouted "FIGHT!" at once. The giant mutant ran towards me. The only thing I could do was scream. The mutant grabbed a hold of me, and slammed me face down on the floor. "K.O.!" I heard before I blacked out. ... I later woke up, tied to a chair yet again. But this time I was in some translucent booth. My face felt numb too. "Let me out!!" I demanded. Then, green smoke filled the booth. I coughed furiously. I blacked again. When I woke up, I was a giant hulking beast! I let out a scream, which ended up coming out as a might roar. The lights then came on. I was in the wrestling ring again. "Rematch!!" I heard a voice announce. Oh no. Not this time! I was filled with rage. I was once again face-to-face with that big ugly mutant. But I noticed something behind him up against a wall. My bike! I roared, and hopped out the ring. The hoodlums freaked out, and chased after me. But I ended up just punching them out of the way. I punched a hole through the wall, revealing the outside. I hopped on my bike, and road out of there. Halfway to my house, my bike broke due to my weight. An undercover cop spotted me, and pulled their gun out. Oh, so this is what my life is now going to be? I think I'll go back to giant mutant wrestling... Dracula V Santa: Dawn of Turkey There's a turkey baking in the oven, jack-o-lanterns and fake cobwebs decorate the room, and the source of light is a Christmas tree. Yep. Instead of celebrating the holidays individuality, I'm celebrating them all at once. I'm a busy man, so I don't have that much free time to sit around and obsess over a holiday for one month. So I'm celebrating them all on one day. There's nothing wrong with that. Right? I went to pull the turkey out of the oven. I set it on the kitchen table, and noticed an old book. Huh, how did this get here? I opened it up, and read the contents. It's a ritual. I ritual that's fairly easy to do due to my current set-up. I surrounded the cooked turkey with my lit jack-o'-lanterns, and sprinkled snow on to the turkey. BOOM! An explosion burst from the turkey, destroying the kitchen. I coughed and coughed. I was covered in black ashes in smoke. The kitchen was destroyed too. In fact, the whole house was destroyed, with a big full moon providing light in the smokey darkness. This damn ritual just cost me my new house! I'm gonna get a refund on that stupid book. GOBBLE GOBBLE! I turned around, and saw a vicious man-sized turkey stare straight into my soul. It let out long shrill squeak, then approached me like it was hunting prey. So this is what the ritual does? Summon a giant killer turkey and blow up my home? F my life! As I prepared to get eaten by turkey, a pale figure swooped in and attacked the turkey. It was Dracula, the prince of darkness. Dracula sunk his sharp fangs into the giant turkey's neck. Blood began oozing out of the neck. The turkey let out another shrill squeak. Dracula was all crazed eyed, with very small black pupils. He stared straight to me while chomping on the turkey's neck. I'm next. Dracula pushed the turkey to the ground, and approached me slowly. That's when in the blink of a eye, a fat jolly old man in red attacked Dracula with a big candy cane. Dracula fell to the ground. "That's my turkey, bitch!" Santa vulgarly proclaimed. Dracula hissed, which made bloody spit fly from his mouth. Santa pulled his candy cane back, ready to strike. I gotta put a stop to this mess. As Santa and Dracula duke'd it out, I scrambled to find the book in the unrecognizable destroyed kitchen. The moonlight provided enough light to know where I was going. I stepped on a piece of rotten pumpkin. Must be a part of one of the jack-o'-lanterns. That's when I found the book laying on the ground covered in black ashes. I coughed, then picked up the book. Surely there's a way to repeal the effects of the ritual someh-- I was interrupted when Santa knocked the book out of my hand with his big candy cane. Dracula then jumped on me, and bit into my neck. I yelled loudly. "You've been a naughty boy this year, bitch!" Santa said while winding up his candy cane. He then swung the candy cane to my head, decapitating me. Santa went to grab my head. "My head, bitch!" Santa gloated to Dracula. Dracula hissed once more, and they both fought over my bloody head. Moral of the story: just celebrate the holidays individuality. That also means no Christmas music in June. Category:Skeletons Category:Clowns Category:Halloween Category:Law Inforcement Category:Sewers Category:Aliens Category:Conspiracy Theory Category:Computers/Internet Category:Cannibals Category:Restaurants Category:Food Category:Jerks Category:Thanksgiving Category:Transformation Category:Mutants Category:Holidays Category:Vampires